Nighttime fears in children: A practical guide

© 2008 – 2022 Gwen Dewar, Ph.D., all rights reserved

Nighttime fears are very common, and may include fears of intruders, monsters, unexplained sounds, and darkness. In this article, I review

• The evolutionary ground for children's fears
• Why kids may exist biologically unprepared to cope by themselves, and
• How you lot can help your child overcome her fears and anxieties

If your child suffers from frightening dreams or nighttime screaming episodes, you might besides desire to check out this commodity on opens in a new window nightmares and nighttime terrors.

Nighttime fears in evolutionary and cross-cultural perspective

If you're reading this considering your child suffers from nocturnal fears, he'south fortunate in at least one respect: Yous know about it.

In a study of Dutch children, over 73% of kids anile four-12 years said they experienced fright at dark (Muris et al 2001).

Another study of Australian children reported that over 64% of kids between 8 and 16 admitted to nighttime anxieties or fears (Gordon et al 2007).

In both cases, many parents were unaware of their children'due south problems.

Why do so many of these kids report dark fears? And why are some parents out of touch?

Maybe the answer is related to the practice of solitary sleep.

In well-nigh places effectually the world, young children sleep with other people. But in some Western countries, children are expected to sleep by themselves.

Does lone sleep make children more fearful? It would exist surprising if co-sleeping with parents didn't reduce a child's separation feet — a panic response arising from a primitive part of brain that also processes data about concrete hurting (Panskepp 2000).

And it makes sense that kids might findnocturnal separation to be especially deplorable.

For over 99% of man history, our ancestors lived equally hunter-gatherers. Amongst these ancestors, children left alone at nighttime would accept been extremely vulnerable to predation. Leaving a child alone at dark meant abandonment and (very perhaps) death. Fear evolved to keep kids close and safety.

Few modern kids have to worry nigh getting attacked by predators. Only the trend to be fearful remains, and some young children take problem distinguishing fantasy from reality. These kids may have more nighttime fears every bit a effect (Zisenwine 2012), and sleeping alone might make things worse.

In a study tracking over 900 Quebecois children from the age of two, Valérie Simard and her colleagues found that toddlers who slept in their mothers' beds were less probable to suffer from nightmares in later years (Simard et al 2008).

The correlation is suggestive, but non conclusive. Mayhap kids who co-slumber have other advantages that reduce the risk of nightmares.

But i thing seems clear: Whether your kid sleeps along or with family unit members, night fears and anxieties should be taken seriously.

Although the kids in the Australian study were selected from the general population (equally opposed to a psychiatric practice or sleep clinic), researchers discovered that well-nigh ten% of children complaining of nighttime fears fit the criteria for an anxiety disorder.

And the written report by Simard and colleagues reports strong links between anxiety and bad dreams. Seventeen-month-sometime kids who were rated by their mothers as anxious, difficult, or emotionally disturbed were more than probable than other children to have bad dreams at 29 months (Simard et al 2008).

The researchers speculate that some children—those who are more than inhibited or broken-hearted—at are greater hazard for chronic nightmares and other psychological issues. If parents treat their children's fears at an early on age, they might help their children avert emotional bug after in life.

Addressing your kid's nighttime fears may also help her become more than sleep. Kids suffering from opens in a new windownight fears may suffer from bedtime problems and opens in a new windowfrequent nighttime wakings.

Finally, we should go on in mind that everybody tends to overreact to emotional stimuli at the terminate of the 24-hour interval. Experiments suggest that the amygdala — a brain region that processes emotional events — becomes overactive when yous are tired (Yoo et al 2007; Maski and Kothar 2013). Negative emotions may come naturally to us at dark.

Why kids need aid coping with dark fears

Adults find information technology difficult to cope with fear and feet. When older adults go to sleep feeling solitary, threatened, sad, or out-of-control, they experience elevated levels of cortisol (a stress hormone) the next 24-hour interval (Adam et al 2006).

If this is the adult feel, what must information technology be like for a kid who lacks the mature coping skills of an adult?

To deal successfully with dark fears and separation feet, a child needs

• A well-adult sense of time ("when volition I come across Mommy again?")
• The ability to control emotional impulses
• The ability to distinguish appearances from reality
• The ability to reason consciously and trust rational conclusions over misleading sensory data ("that shadowy bump on the floor might await like a monster, just I know it'southward really a pile of dress")

Most kids don't develop these capacities until they are 5-half dozen years onetime—not coincidentally the age when the frontal lobes starting time to mature (Eliot 2000). The brain's frontal lobes permit us to reason, problem-solve, and programme ahead. They also assist u.s. determine what to do with the raw emotions we experience.

The implications seem clear. When frightened toddlers and preschoolers are left to fend for themselves, they don't know how to at-home themselves down. And even after kids develop the ability to reason about their emotions, they tin't be expected to invent their own constructive fearfulness-management therapies.

Moreover, some kids are intrinsically more than timid than others. These kids may be at a physiological disadvantage when it comes to confronting their own fears.

Temperamentally-inhibited children tend to have higher resting heart rates and higher levels of stress hormones. They prove greater encephalon activity in the right frontal lobe—where fears and anxieties are processed (Eliot 2000).

And brute studies advise that the amygdala—the brain construction that tells the states when we should be afraid—is more than sensitive, or "trigger-happy," in timid children (Play a joke on et al 2005; Eliot 2000). These kids can acquire to be less fearful. Only to exercise it, they need the sensitive, gentle encouragement of their parents.

What'due south the lesser line?

Kids need help coping with nighttime fears, and they demand a helper who is sensitive to their developmental stage and individual temperament.

They demand someone to reassure them, to provide them with a sense of security, and to teach them how to overcome their dark fears.

In short, they demand responsive, rational parenting.

Helping children cope with dark fears: A checklist

Always question parenting advice that encourages parents to leave distressed children alone at night.

As noted higher up, kids lack the coping tools to piece of work things out by themselves. And even advocates of "cry-it-out" strategies of slumber grooming warn that such approaches are inappropriate for young babies and children who are particularly fearful or anxious (France and Blampied 1999; Owens et al 1999).

Talk to kids virtually the difference between fantasy and reality, and bear witness to them that there is no monster in the closet.

Equally noted to a higher place, children who accept problem distinguishing fantasy and reality may be at college risk for dark fears (Zisenwine et al 2012).

Consider sources of daily stress.

Kids who suffer from daytime anxieties—most school, separation from parents, or other concerns—are more probable to fear the dark and fear sleeping alone (Gregory and Eley 2005). Y'all may exist able to reduce your kid's night fears past helping him cope with daytime stress.

Review your child's sleep requirements and sleep schedule.

Sometimes parents overestimate how much slumber their children demand. As a outcome, they send their kids to bed long before kids tin fall asleep. Kids left to stew in the dark have more time to dwell on night fears (Ferber 1995).

For help gauging your kid's sleep requirements, see this Parenting Science guide.

Avert frightening tv, stories, and imagery — especially before bedtime.

This includes passive exposure, which occurs when your child is present while you watch potentially disturbing fabric on TV. One written report reported that five-6 year olds exposed to adult Television set programs—including the evening news—slept less overall and experienced more sleep disturbances (Paavonen et al 2006).

Fight fearfulness with the power of touch.

 Physical amore switches off separation anxiety (Panskepp 2006).

Offer your kid the comfort of a soft toy animal or or doll.

At that place is experimental bear witness that this old standby actually helps: In a study that randomly assigned fearful children to receive a toy "huggy puppy," kids exhibited fewer nighttime fears and sleep problems than did children in a control grouping. The effect was observed whether the toy  was presented equally a protector or as a creature needing protection (Kushnir and Sadeh 2012).

Try to exist patient.

If your child's night fears are depriving you of sleep, it's natural to feel resentment. Simply it's important not to direct anger or irritation at your kid. If your child feels rejected, this volition only intensify his separation anxiety and make things worse.

Answer promptly to nightmares.

Assure your child that the nightmare wasn't real, and explain that everybody has nightmares sometimes. The more quickly yous break the spell of a frightening dream, the more than rapidly your child can get dorsum to sleep.

For more information most nightmares — and their dopplegangers, sleep terrors, see opens in a new windowthis Parenting Science guide.

Provide your child with a dark lite.

As you and your kid works through her nighttime fears, yous can switch to progressively dimmer lights (Glaze 2004). But discussion to the wise: Observe a nightlight that gives off dim low-cal, and light with a soft, warm hue.

Studies signal that both bright light and blue light inhibit the production of melatonin in the brain, and thus may prevent your child from feeling drowsy at bedtime. Read more about information technology in this Parenting Scientific discipline article.

Be a model of calm, confident beliefs

When your child comes to you in a fearful state, be warm, sensitive and responsive. Tell him you understand that he is scared, and that everybody gets scared sometimes. But don't let sympathy turn into overprotectiveness. ]

Many animals—ranging from birds to monkeys—are sensitive to social cues about fearfulness (Zentall and Galef 1988). They choice up fears past watching others model them. Kids are no exception. If your child believes y'all are worried or anxious, he may become more fearful.

Show your child how to relax

For example, every bit you soothe a crying child, you tin bear witness her breathing exercises.

In a study aimed at reducing feet in young children scheduled for a medical procedure, researchers taught kids how to take slow, deep breaths past having them exhale into party blowers (Jay et al 1987). These animate exercises appeared to reduce distress in twoscore% of the kids.

Counteract frightening thoughts with images of happiness, safety, and bravery.

When your child is fearful, assist him think of situations that make him feel happy and in control. For example, you might encourage him to imagine he is playing with a favorite pet. You might as well have him practice telling themselves that he is brave. This technique was used in the report mentioned above (Jay et al 1987).

Teach coping skills through office playing

Many kids overcome their fright of medical check-ups past playing md. Y'all can apply this approach to dark fears also.

During the daytime, talk almost your child's fears and hash out how she can counteract them. Help your child practice the tactics mentioned above—thinking happy thoughts, telling oneself that ane is brave, rehearsing relaxing techniques, and transforming frightening imaginary creatures into something silly and non-threatening. And so try a fiddling role playing (Jay et al 1987).

If you take another adult or older child to help, the ii of you tin can act out the parts of frightened child and helpful parent. The parent shows the child how to counter her night fears, and the child tries each technique out. After this demonstration, accept the child play the part of the comforting adult. You lot—or a favorite toy—can accept the part of the fearful child.

During the daytime, create stories with your child in which the protagonist (your child'due south favorite fictional character or hero) learns to overcome nighttime fears.

This technique—called story desensitization—is designed to brand children less fearful past having them confront their fears in modest steps (King et al 2001).

Start past telling a story that lacks any frightening elements. And then innovate something that is but a little bit scary.

For instance, if your child is agape of spiders, you might add a very small, not-threatening spider to the story (one that keeps its distance from the hero). The hero responds past successfully practicing the fright management techniques mentioned above.

If this story doesn't distress your kid, you can intensify the frightening chemical element in the next story—perhaps by making the spider come closer. In this way, you may gradually desensitize your kid'due south fears.

If your child suffers from astringent nighttime fears, consult with a doctor or licensed therapist.

Inquiry suggests that kids with problems at night oft suffer from a variety of bug during the solar day, including anxiety, impulsivity, and abnormal attentional command (Kushnir et al 2014). A specialist tin recommend a program of help tailored to the individualized needs of your child.

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References: Coping with nighttime fears

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